East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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