Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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