I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
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