you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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