yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
