I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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