When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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