Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
