So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
