Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
