you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
