I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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