we have officially lost it.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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