I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
