NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
