I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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