if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
