you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I party with great urgency now.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
