new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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