Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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