There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
tell me about the fingering
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