Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh god it's open bar.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
