At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
