well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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