But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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