There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
