I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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