"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
