He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
