At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
