There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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