Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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