So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
