i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
