So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
