Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize