Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
