my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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