I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
