He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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