Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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