Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize