garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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