I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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