I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
