PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
