Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he puts the penis in happiness.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Randomize
