Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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