Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
