i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
