dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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