That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
