I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
