a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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