What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
