i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
