do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
