I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize