Your favorite bartender is back from prision
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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